Ted Cruz claims to be the most boring type of gamer in the world and leans into loot boxes


A concerned gamer wrote to Senator Ted Cruz’s podcast to ask what he thought of the loot boxes. (Yes, Ted Cruz has a podcast where he talks about loot boxes – my editor made me double check). We as a society have therefore learned so much more about what Cruz thinks of the game than we ever wanted to know.

If you don’t immediately associate Cruz with video games, you’re forgiven. Normally, when we talk about the man, we talk about the state of gun rights laws in his state of Texas, or abortion access, or the many times he’s been publicly embarrassed. According to an email read on Cruz’s podcast seeking comment from the failed presidential candidate, netizen Asmongold wanted to know what the senator’s stance was on loot boxes, and we know now.

If you want to know the real answer to the question, it’s this: As a good libertarian, Cruz is concerned about scenarios where children are put at risk, like being encouraged to play, but doesn’t believe the government should to be involved. . When it comes to his personal use, however, apparently Senator Cruz actually pays to win regularly in the video games he claims to play.

“Now I’m a bit of a gamer. I’m not a gamer like hardcore Twitch streamers and I don’t do massively multiplayer games,” Cruz said. “I’ll tell you, I don’t like it when you can buy in-game items and somehow make your character stronger or get perks. Now I’ll admit that when I play certain games, I’ll sometimes buy it because it’s more fun in a way.Your character has a lot more great things that would take you six months or a year to build.

(Motherboard emailed Ted Cruz’s office asking what games he plays — and what he spends money on — but they didn’t immediately respond. Who may or may not have been complicit) of the JFK assassination).

Cruz concluded this segment by saying that he’s open to hearing arguments about loot boxes, but doesn’t think it’s a government issue, which is odd, since his personal experience with loot boxes and the mechanics of free games seem to align perfectly with all the arguments that call for these manipulative and addictive monetization schemes in precisely a way that demands government attention, if not oversight. In a weird aside, he also wanted to add that he loves the movie Loan player onethat no one but him has probably ever watched and appreciated.

“I’ve seen it a few times, but I happened to do a rewatch last week,” Cruz said, summarizing the film’s plot about people obsessed with virtual reality, which even its famed director Steven Spielberg probably haven’t watched many times. gladly. “People are hoarding money in VR and it ends up subsuming the world for a lot of people. There are tough challenges, and we’re not in the dystopian world of Loan player onebut hey, we could be on the right track.

The next time you log into the OASIS to search for another of Halliday’s Easter Eggs and find yourself stomped on by a monster that has purchased all of the battle pass tiers, take a moment and consider that you may have -to have had the honor of being beaten by Senator Ted Cruz, the kind of player who is able to see the problems at hand but also feels all right to take advantage of them – and also the kind who’s so incompetent they’re willing to pay real money to gain a marginal advantage over bored pre-teens wasting time now that school is closed.


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